you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
