i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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