Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
What a dumb baby whore.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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