he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
