so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
