Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize