I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
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