You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
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