i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
