oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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