she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize