sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
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