i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
