no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
