I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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