is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
