as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize