lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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