i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
