singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
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When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
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the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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