if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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