but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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