I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize