omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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