The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
