hotel room ftw
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
