I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize
