this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
