just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize