Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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