Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
