haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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