I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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