She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
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I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
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Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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