I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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