There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize