my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
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Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
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You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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