I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My vagina just clenched in fear
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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