At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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