i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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