Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize