I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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