i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
