I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
