I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
