Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My life is pants optional.
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