I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
