guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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