Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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