im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
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the ceiling is raining jello shotss
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
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There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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