i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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