Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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