you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
