Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
