Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
