Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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