how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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