My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?