There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.