So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
be right there i have to get my cape
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I would fuck him just for his dog
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.