how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
