if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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