Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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