How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
