why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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