I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
