just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
