You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
