The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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