she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
