I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize