so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
this just has baby written all over it
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
